In An Abusive Relationship

Sadly, in the present age, it’s not always easy for a woman or a man to know if they really are in an abusive relationship, and whether or not they frequently experience domestic violence in the home. Assessing the damage can seem like an emotional mountain, that you just don’t have time for. But your safety, your children’s safety, and even emotional wellness depend on your ability to face facts, and come to terms with your fears and abusive partner. Ask yourself these questions, and answer them honestly, to help determine whether your relationship is abusive or not:

  1. Are you afraid of, or often taking over-cautious measures to keep your spouse or partner from being angry?
  2. Does your partner often insult, ignore, harshly criticize you for little things, or get angry with you when you make or suggestion a decision that alters from his/her own choice?
  3. Is your partner in control of the clothes you wear, the friends you see, your finances, or other general areas of your life?
  4. Does your partner often become jealous, or accuse you of being unfaithful without any catalyst?
  5. Is your partner prone to sudden changes of mood, from happy to depressed, or relaxed to enraged?
  6. Have you made any changes to your life just to keep your partner from being angry or threatening towards you?
  7. Do you constantly have to remind yourself not to freely speak your mind, or suggest ideas, or opinions?

Answering yes to more than one, or even one of these questions could mean your are in an abusive relationship. However, there are still other ways to tell, such as remembering to look for warning signs. — There is always the very really possibility that you may think, ‘well, she/he does some of these things, but he/she would never hit me’, –however, more often than not, verbal and emotional abuse leads to physical abuse. Catching a warning sign that your spouse may become physically abusive could save your life. Below, are listed some of the warning signs of an abusive spouse or partner, or signs that the partner may become physically abusive.

  • A major warning sign is if your partner has been in an abusive relationship, before this one. An abuser can change; but more often than not, they refuse to admit they have anger and violence problems.
  • When your partner begins insulting your friends, and making subtle, or even blatant restrictions against you seeing them; or maybe even constantly interrupting plans made with other friends.
  • When you partner loses his or her temper, becoming violently angry, over minor annoyances, small mistakes, or accidents, whether it’s with you, children, friends, coworkers, or anyone.
  • Another warning sign is a generally misogynistic, or chauvinist attitudes or ideals about how men and women should interact, and a refusal to even discuss those ideas with reason.
  • All the decisions and choices about the relationship is made by him or her, while your needs, suggestions, and ideas go ignored, and are easily dismissed, possibly even in anger.
    These are important signals in your relationship, regardless of your gender, that something is not right. There may be space for repair, and there may not be, but the first thing to do is make a decision for yourself. You have the right to be in a safe, healthy relationship and if your current partner is taking that away from you then it’s time to make some choices.